after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
