hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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