with your own penis?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
