Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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