boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
