Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
