So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
