Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
