Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
