Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
