OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
