Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize