is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
