it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
