I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
