We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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