Your dad touched me again.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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