Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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