I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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