420 ftw
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
