Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I touched a dick in church today
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize