he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
