So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
