What did we do last night that was yellow?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
