all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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