never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize