party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize