I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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