just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
