I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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