As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
