Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
