So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
