I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
