"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
