"it" just moved
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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