i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
