I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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