You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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