This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
