Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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