I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
