I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
