She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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