a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
