oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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