so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
