I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize