i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
