If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
