My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Boobs speak an international language.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
