well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
