Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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