Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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