I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
