smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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