Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
