i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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