Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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