WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're a waste of cheezeits
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
