Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
