my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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