Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize