ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
