Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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