6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
