just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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