i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
