hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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